Monteau dress | A’gaci wedges
I promise I haven’t been ignoring you — lots has been going on.
There have been very few moments where I can sit down and write something that doesn’t read like complete garbage. Every day of this summer has been one of those days where events unfold so quickly that I can barely wrap my head around them, like the kind where yesterday feels like a week ago because so much has happened since then.
So. Grab some coffee or an enjoyable snack, and let me tell you what I’ve been up to since I last really posted.
Abercrombie swing dress | A’Gaci heels
Content warning: This post discusses death and is probably one of the darkest things I’ve posted, but that’s why you have pretty pictures to balance it out, right?
I think a lot about being old.
When (if?) I’m so old that my body is stuck in life support mode while my mind wanders, will I remember my twenties? Will I regret them? If I could go back, would I change things? How so?
Dress made by me | Franco Sarto heels
The first person I came out to was my sister.
I was a sophomore in high school, and it felt less like coming out and more like I was confirming something she had known all along. She was the one who’d playfully taunted me for being “as straight as a circle” since we were little kids. Her reaction, though, was one of openness and acceptance, and through that positive experience, I was able to tell my friends, closer family members, and eventually the general public that I was queer.
It’s now been five years since I’ve started to overcome my own internalized biphobia/began to talk about the gender dysphoria I experience/explain to others that no, pansexuality doesn’t imply attraction to everybody out there. In honor of Pride month, I thought I’d do a quick touch-base with you all on where I stand on certain Pride-related issues that are prevalent today. If you’re the type to get easily offended, feel free to smash that red X button and come back for another basic outfit post on Monday. The opinions expressed below are mine and mine alone.
Unknown dress (found at a thrift shop!)
I still have a bunch of finals left (I’m literally writing this while taking a break from the two projects, two essays, and one exam I still have to finish/write/study for), but I’m pretty much packed up to go otherwise.
Looking around my empty room makes me excited and melancholy at the same time — on one hand, I’m so ready to get out of here and wolf down my mom’s delicious food again and get a taste of life as a professional software engineer. On the other hand, some of my closest friends are graduating this year, and it just won’t be the same when I return in the fall. Life happens, though, and I’ve found that the best way to deal with change is to accept it, move on, and make the best of your circumstances.
Express dress | A’Gaci pumps
I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.
– Jordan Baker, The Great Gatsby
Much like Nick Carraway in Gatsby, us college students are also entranced by the glamour of the Roaring Twenties, and get a taste of it every year at our annual Gatsby-themed party by the water. ‘20s bayside mansions are literally part of my school’s campus, which makes it a lot of fun to dress up and dance the night away with friends and classmates. This year it rained throughout the event, causing our venue to change, but I enjoyed dressing up regardless.
RompHim: Your New Favorite Summer Outfit
If you haven’t heard of them yet, RompHim is a brand of rompers for guys that are set to hit the market sometime this summer. ACED Design, the company selling RompHims, haven’t set an official release date at the time of this post, but seeing as their Kickstarter has already raised over eleven times their set goal and that they’ve guaranteed deliveries of their special edition Fourth of July RompHims by Independence Day, it’s pretty likely that you’ll be seeing the RompHim out and about soon. According to their Kickstarter FAQ page, ACED Design is “committed to getting the 4th of July RompHims to backers in time for the holiday, the Early Bird Specials in July, and the rest of the orders in August.” Get excited.
Charlotte Russe dress | Jennifer Lopez heels
I recently re-watched my favorite Fairly OddParents episode, “The Boy Who Would be Queen”, where Timmy Turner gets magically turned into a girl in order to better understand what his crush Trixie wants for her birthday.
In a surprising turn of events, he finds out that she’s actually into comic books, which are traditionally marketed to boys, not girls. She begs him to stay quiet: “If word gets out I like boy stuff, all my friends will think I’m weird. Please, please keep it our secret, girl-to-girl?”
Forever 21 dress | Franco Sarto shoes
Someone recently asked me what I wanted to do with my life.
Answers immediately popped into my head, all of which sounded vaguely spiel-y. There was I want to build something great, of course, or I want to leave a legacy, or I want to get ahead in my career, or I want to live in a big, bright house by the water where the weather is always warm while working a job that is intellectually challenging, well-paying, and culturally fitting. But my voice seemed to have a mind of its own.
“I just wanna live, man,” I blurted out instead before I could stop myself.
Express dress | Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino
This is the first time I’ve stepped into a Starbucks inside a Macy’s inside a mall.
I’m thinking of how the setup is like a configuration of Russian dolls, stores in stores in a giant conglomeration of stores, when the guy behind the counter flashes me a jolly smile. “Good afternoon! What’ll it be today?”
“I’ll have a tall Unicorn Frappuccino,” I reply, cringing a little on the inside. Even I’m judging myself. Last night a good friend of mine who worked at Starbucks had gone on a rant about how much she hated the drink, from its super-sugary contents to the fact that blenders had to be washed out after each use to the grown women who threw tantrums upon finding out that ingredients had run out. I decided to try it out for myself the next day. Why not? I’d received a Starbucks gift card this past Christmas and needed an excuse to use it.
A friend of mine wondered recently why so many people at my school suffered from impostor syndrome, also known as the feeling that you secretly don’t know anything and that you’ve somehow been fooling everyone into believing that you’ve got your shit together.
Although I do attend a school where impostor syndrome seems to be quite prevalent, I think that it affects almost everybody at least some of the time. When I first took college-level economics courses, and later, when I started learning computer science theory and how to program, I struggled constantly with feelings of inadequacy and incompetence. Whenever those feelings come up now, I use one or a combination of the four methods below to make them go away. (more…)